Joyous Birth Members - Linda's Birth Stories

When I was pregnant with our first child I was 18 and my husband was 23. I knew from talking with my own mother that I didn't want to have my babies in the hospital. My mother-in law was a nurse midwife who agreed to attend our birth when we asked her. When I was 7 months along in my pregnancy, my dear mother-in law decided that she was not comfortable with helping us as she "felt too close to the situation". I tried finding another midwife but had no success. Finally, I told my my husband that I was just going to have this baby by myself. I felt confident in my body's ability and had prepared well. One draw back: my husband did not agree to this plan. He said that he was just too afraid for us to handle it alone and that we should see what options we had at the hospital. Well, three doctors and two hospitals later, we found what we thought was the best choice. This was in 1976 and it was difficult to find a midwife let alone a doctor or hosppital who was willing to work with our wishes. When I went in for a prenatal check at 38 weeks I was feeling a little crampy. I told the OB so he checked me. He was wide-eyed as he told me I was 6 cm. He wanted to admit me to the hospital ASAP. We left from there and went to the mall to walk around as I wanted to avoid the hospital for as long as I could. Two hours later we showed up at the hospital where they'd been frantically waiting for us. :) I was popped in a wheelchair (oh.boy! doesn't that empower a person!) and when I reached L&D they wanted to do all the usual stupid things to me. I adamantly and flatly refused. I wasn't the most popular laboring mother there that afternoon but I bet I was one of the happiest after that. When my husband arrived in the room the nurse checked my dilation. I was 7cm. with a big bulging amniotic sac there. An hour later I was still the same. The OB suggested the sac was cushioning the contractions. An hour later I was still the same even though I had been walking up and down the hospital halls. When he checked me again later he found that I was still 7 cm. By now I had been in the hospital for 3 hours. I told him that since the baby and I were fine that I wanted to go 2 more hours--until 7:30 p.m. If I was still 7 cm. then I agreed he could break the water. That time came and I was still at the same point I had been for 5 hours. The contractions were normal but I was not uncomfortable and the baby's heart tones were fine. When he broke my water my calm demeanor went flying out the window! For the next two and a half hours I felt overwhelmed with intense contractions which were very hard for me to handle. It felt better to be very verbal and loud with each one but the nurses kept trying to tell me to shut-up. One even got right in my face and made some insulting comments. When I was fully dilated around 10:00 p.m. I suddenly got a very strong urge to push. They demanded that I not push until the OB had pronounced me fully dilated.

I tried to breathe through a few of them as I didn't want my baby born too fast as I didn't want to tear. Finally when the OB arrived I told them I HAD to push! They yelled at me telling me I could not push until they had me in the delivery room. I pushed anyway while they were wheeling the bed down the hall. I pushed again when they were trying to get my feet in the stirrups. The OB started to prepare a syringe. I asked him what it was for. "I'm preparing you for an episiotomy", he said. "NO WAY!" I determined in my mind. I gave one HUGE push and her whole body came flying out. The OB threw all he had in his hands in the air and quickly caught my baby daughter. She was beautiful! For the next 3 days I was hassled with one thing or another constantly. Suffice it to say, I was so happy to finally get back home and had already made up my mind that all my other children would be born at home even if we had to do it by ourselves.

Three years later I was due to deliver our son. We could find no midwives when we were living in Wisconsin during this pregnancy. We moved to Colorado when I had 6 weeks to go. My mother lived nearby. She discovered that there was going to be a nidwife seminar in the area. I thought this would be a great place to find a midwife for our birth. So many of them were willing to come. At the time there was no charge as midwifery was illegal there then. We invited 3 of them. I began labor shortly after midnight 17 days before my due date. My husband worked at night and I was glad for the solitude at the time. I was having mild contractions 5 minutes apart. By about 4:00 a.m. my hubby arrived home. I told him I was in early labor as far as I could tell and that it was probably a good idea if he got some sleep. I tried to rest with him but had too much energy and the contractions were getting uncomfortable. By 8:00 a.m. I thought it time to call the midwives. They arrived just a short time later. One of them was my main midwife. The other two were there just to give us a hand if needed. By the time they arrived I was 6 cm. dilated. I preferred being up and about visiting with everybody and munching on frozen grapejuice cubes. Around noon I was dilated to about 8 cm. and was feeling a lot of the contractions in my back. My husband, I found out later was feeling pretty overwhelmed with all the midwives there but he did not say anything at the time. He applied pressure to my back while I labored on my hands and knees in the bedroom. The contractions were taking all my attention before too long. Around 1:00 p.m. I decided to take a warm bath---it felt so soothing! I became drowsy and relaxed in between contractions which were still about 3-4 minutes apart but lasting about a minute. About 30 minutes later I decided to get in bed as things felt pretty close. The midwife checked me and said I was fully dilated except for a small anterior lip on the cervix. She said there was a big bulge of water coming through abd asked if she could break it. I agreed. Just as she got ready to do so it broke. Suddenly I had a tremendous urge to push this baby out! I concentrated on the midwife's every word and did not take my eyes off her as she had me breathe through each contraction. She sensed this to be a birth where I could just breathe the baby out. I was amazed! I didn't push once as my uterus did all the work of expelling his little body out slowly and smoothly over the next couple of minutes. I realized my husband was by my side and that my daughter, mother and friend was in the room, but all I concentrated on in those moments was how powerful and mindblowing giving birth this way was. I delivered a lovely son. The midwives left about an hour later. My mother helped me clean up and get cozy with the baby as my 3 year old daughter sat on the bed with me, smiling at her baby brother. My husband cleaned up things and kept an eye on me. A bit later we all fell asleep together. It took me a few days to realize that my husband didn't really get the opportunity to participate in our second birth much more than the first one. This was sad to me and just didn't seem right.

Less than two years later, I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. I was excited about being pregnant again as I always felt my best when carrying a child. My husband thinks pregnant woman are so beautiful so I feel even more special during this time. I was still nursing our son. We discussed what we wanted for this 3rd birth. We prayed about it and felt very led to birth our baby with just the two of us. We carefully made our plans. We also did not feel the need of having a midwife to do my prenatal care. I was very careful in my nutrition and felt very connected to our baby through the months. On my due date which was May 2, 1982 I woke up on a Sunday morning around 9:00 a.m. feeling very aware of my body. I was having no contractions--just felt very "spacey". I asked Chuck if he would check me to see if I had effaced or dilated any more than what I had over the past couple of weeks. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I was 6 cm. dilated! I wasn't sure if he had felt what he thought he felt so I squatted and checked for myself when I went into the bathroom. Sure enough, he was right. How thrilling it was to be able to rub my fingers on my baby's sweet little unborn head. I went into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast, but around 9:30 a.m. the contractions suddenly made themselves known by moving to my back. From then on I had back labor with relief only between contractions. I didn't feel like walking around or taking a bath so I just sat and tried to relax with my husband. We had called my younger sister to come and be with our two children and to take photographs. It was so nice to be able to spend this special time together just by ourselves. Chuck was very reassuring and gave me the strength that I needed to go through this labor that seemed to be more painful than the first two. Our time together during labor was such a deep bonding experience. It seemed so right. It was like a continuation of the consumating of our union together. We both worked hard during transition. By now it was about 4:30 p.m. It had been a gorgeous spring day. We had a door in the bedroom that opened directly to the back yard. We left it opened during this day to let in the fresh, uplifting breezes. This also helped me to relax and add to the beauty of the day. I went to the bathroom and felt a lot of pressure. I squatted again to check my progress and found myself fully dilated. I popped my water right there and expected to feel the pushing urge but there wasn't any! I continued to have strong contractions that moved the baby down the birth canal. I decided to squat and move around during the contractions. Around 6:00 p.m. the contractions became tremendously painful in my lower back to the point that it was making me nausous. By this time I felt best in the bed with Chuck pressing his fist behind me upon my pressure points in my back. This is the only thing that gave me relief. By about 6:25p.m. a contraction that came on sent the baby's head right to the perineum and created a tremendous pushing urge which I gave into with a lot of vocal sounds which helped to release a lot of energy. Chuck moved around to the front of me and called for my sister to bring our children into the bedroom. After two or three of these the baby's head was born followed quickly by his chubby little body. What a beautiful little boy!! He hardly cried and within a couple of minutes he opened his eyes wide and looked up at me for the longest time. Our two older children were in awe at this new life. They touched him and giggled and wanted to hold him right away. A few minutes later the placenta came out and looked just fine. We later buried it and planted a tree over the top of it. After Chuck cut the cord, Baby Allen and I took a warm, relaxing herbal bath together. He just loved it as he floated weightlessly. He fell asleep probably dreaming of his time in the womb... After the bath we weighed him and discovered he was our biggest so far. Our first born had weighed 6# 9 oz. at birth. Our second baby weighed 7# 6 oz. Allen weighed 8# 8oz.

We dressed and got comfy in the living room where we ate a wonderful dinner that someone had lovingly prepared for us. Heather who was 5 1/2 yrs old and David who was 2 1/2 yrs old held and cuddled Allen and gave him soft little kisses on the cheek. That night Chuck and I, along with David and our new baby Allen all fell asleep in the same bed. Heather chose to sleep in her own little bed a little ways from ours in the same room. This had been a magical day, a perfect day. One that could never be matched for any of the 5 of us in any other birth setting. We were very satisfied with this birth and glad we had made the choice to birth at home the way we did.

I love being pregnant! I love breastfeeding my babies and being a mother. I wanted a houseful of children. God knows each one of us even before we are born. We left it up to Him of when our next precious gem would arrive. On May 23, 1997 Chuck and I discovered together that I was pregnant again. I had not conceived in 15 years. We were both thrilled. Chuck took me out to eat for breakfast that morning to celebrate. I was due with this baby January 27, 1998. We didn't tell our older children for a month as we wanted to just absorb this special moment between the two of us for a little while longer. Heather was 21 by now, David was 18 and Allen was nearly 15! Where had all the time gone?? It went by too swiftly, to be sure...I had nursed Allen for nearly 6 years as I just let him wean himself. David had weaned himself before Allen was born. When we told the children they were very happy for us. My daughter became very protective over me. I had another wonderful pregnancy. There was no question that this baby would be born in the same loving environment as his brother had been 15 years earlier. I savored every moment of being pregnant. Would this be my last pregnancy? The thought brought tears to my eyes. My husband took a lot of extra effort to enjoy my pregnancy also. He would come home form a hard day at work and lay his head on my belly and we would sometimes just stay that way quietly and lovingly or he would be in a more playful mood as he told "bedtime stories" to our baby in the womb. :) For about three weeks

I had been having a lot of "warm-up" labor. I was so anxious to see our new sweetie yet wanting to hold on to this pregnancy for as long as I could. On the evening of January 26 I was sitting quietly on the couch when out of the blue I had a contraction that felt different. This was followed by another and another over the next hour, each lasting about 20 seconds and 5-7 minutes apart. I didn't say anything to Chuck. I had begun to feel this primal urge to be alone by myself for a while. I told him to go ahead and go to bed without me, that I was going to stay up a little bit longer. He knew I had not been sleeping very well recently. I began the first contraction around 9:15 p.m. I spent the rest of the evening walking around our home completely into the sensations of what was happening within my body. As the evening wore on the contractions becane stronger and longer but stayed at about 5 minutes apart. Around 11:00 p.m. I tried lying down, but this was very uncomfortable. I tried sitting but found that I had a harder time dealing with the labor in that position. I was hungry so I ate and drank lots of juice. I continued to walk which felt very good and kept me focused on working with my body. I still craved my alone time with my baby. I knew my husband and decided he needed this sleep time. Around 2:00 a.m. I ran a warm bath and climbed in. Oh, how wonderfully sublime this felt!

I stayed in the tub for almost an hour. With each contraction I could feel the baby's head moving down lower. As I lay in the tub, thinking what a fortunate woman I was to have this marvelous freedom in birthng my child I was brought to tears. I decided to reach between my legs and see if I could feel how far the head had come. I was surprised to discover the head was so low I could lay back in the tub and insert fingers into my vaginal opening and feel him about 4 inches away. I thought I was about 8 cm. I got out of the tub, dried off quickly and woke my dear husband. I told him I was in labor and really was needing his loving support and strength to help me through the rest of it. The contractions were incredibly strong since leaving the tub so about 10 minutes after waking him I asked him to check me. I was fully dilated! Wonderful! The contractions were now about 2-3 minutes apart and lasting a very long time. I still felt best walking around even though I was getting increasingly to the point that I had to stand still and let Chuck rub hard on my lower back. By 6:00 a.m. I couldn't take the pressure much longer and the urge to push had gotten increasingly stronger with each contraction. I was getting very tired and felt this great urge to cry in the middle of one of the contractions. I put my arms around my husbands neck and let out a flood of tears and sobs as he held me in his arms. After that I felt better and knew the baby was just about ready to make his way into this world.

I got down on my hands and knees through the next two contractions which brought his head a couple of inches from the vaginal opening. While I waited for another contraction Chuck helped me get comfortable on the birthing stool he had made. I felt another comtraction come on and I placed my hand instinctively inside and felt the bulging water sac right there. I pressed into it and it popped, flowing out amniotic fluid. Immediately I had a rush go through my body that took my breath away. Chuck knelt in front of me. I put my arms around his neck with my chin on his shoulder and felt this orgasmic overwhelming power overtake my body. One tremendous push birthed his head. Chuck slipped the umbilical cord from around his neck which was only half way around. Then with the second push out came his slippery body into his daddy's and my hands together as we both reached for him at the same time. We lifted him up tp me where we discovered we had another son. He cried for just a few seconds and then just looked at us with an intense gaze that is special to an awake and aware newborn. We cuddled him and I nursed him while waiting for the placenta. When the placenta was expelled I brought Baby Micah into the herbal bath with me. He brought his little fists up tight under his chin as I held him. He floated and watched Chuck and me as we talked together about the miracle of this little jewel added to our treasure house. We felt closer than ever in a way that's hard to describe.

Micah was soon asleep as we continued to relax in the aromatic herbal water. I forgot to mention earlier that he was born at 6:16 a.m. just as the sky was beginning to break into dawn. We had birthed him without any lights on. Just the light from the wee norning hour coming though the big windows in the bedroom--just enough to watch the magic in our baby's eyes...Micah weighed 6# 10 oz. and was almost 19 inches long. He was born with a head full of long dark hair. We had no one else at all here this time. Just the three of us (and all of heaven, it seemed) which was perfect. A few hours later I felt rested enough to go visit our daughter Heather so she could see Micah. His brothers would be coming to greet him later.

Micah has continued to be an absolute delight to us all. He is a contented, loving baby. He will be 9 weeks old tomorrow. I believe in attachment parenting and he has never left our side. I would never dream of raising a child any other way. Would you think I was crazy if I told you I miss being pregnant? I sometimes wish gestation lasted longer. My husband has a way of making me feel like a Queen when I am pregnant. He is a good man and a loving husband whom I am so thankful I have with me to share all the wonders of pregnancy, childbirth and parenting with in the fullest way. In my opinion, this is how birth was meant to be. Micah is thriving and now weighs almost 10 1/2 lbs.! If God has another child for us in the future it will be most welcome and once again we will bring him/her into this world in the same way as the last two babies.

Once again, thank you for inviting me to share the stories of my births.

Love to all,
Linda

Copyright Kimberly Bobrow Jennery, 1997-2006

Contact Kimberly at: kimberly at bobrow dot net